Approval Seeking Syndrome, I prefer to call it A.S.S.

What exactly is it? It is the feeling people have of needing to seek someone's approval and this is how it works. You may know someone who is always concerned about what others may think of them. They worry so much about what people think of them that they will do practically anything to win their approval. Examples are, letting people take advantage of them, because they worry that these people will not like them if they don't do what they ask them to. For example, someone children are famous for this by saying, "If you don't do this, I won't be your friend". I always told my son that if anyone ever said that to him, simply respond with, "That's okay, I have other friends".

Another example is when someone is always asking for favors, but doesn't like to be there when you really need a friend. They have no problem taking advantage of you, and they are quick to criticize you, making you feel small.

How do you overcome this? It's actually quite easy. A.S.S. (Approval Seeking Syndrome) simply means you need to work on your self-esteem. The first step to take is to realize that you are no longer going to allow people to take advantage of you. It is okay to say no when people ask you to do something you do not want to do.

If you want to have a relaxing day to yourself and someone is pushing you to go with them, and you don't want to, simply say, "Thanks for the offer, but I promised myself today is my day. I made a committment to myself to relax by myself". No other explanation is necessary or needed. If they persist, simply say, "Thank-you but I am not interested, and I am not going to explain this again", and say it with confidence, not anger or frustration or they will persist even more.

Always respond with confidence and in a calm voice, never in an angry or frustrated voice. When you feel angry or frustrated, people pick this up, especially the one's who like to use people, and they become even more persistent.

No-one can make you feel angry, sad, depressed, happy or excited. These are emotions we choose. If someone says something that you believe makes you feel angry, you are actually choosing these feelings and emotions. They are most likely from a past experience. We do not know how to feel about certain situations if we do not have a "reference" or past experience to relate it to. So when you are feeling angry, frustrated or even depressed about something, this is when you must ask yourself, "Why am I feeling this way? What has happened and how can turn this around so I can feel happy?".

So remember, no-one can make you feel any emotion without your permission. Do not allow people to take advantage of you and if they do not like you for this......who cares?! To wrap this up, I am thinking of something right at this moment. Can you tell me what I am thinking? Obviously you cannot, because you don't know what I am thinking. So why do you care what other people are thinking of you? It only matters what you think of yourself. For any questions or comments, please free to contact me, David Lang at my e-mail address which is  and I will get back to you.

Take care and remember, ACTIONIZE NOW and The Future Is Yours!!!